I Will Not Be Broken

On the forty-second page of “I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis” land mine survivor & author Jerry White (a 1997 co-recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize) wrote (emphasis added):

Carrie will insist that her own personal struggle doesn't rank "up there" as a trauma, per se, but it has been a big challenge for her. We all wrestle with the facts of our lives, big and small, in order to find meaning as we strive to keep hope alive. Without coming to grips with what is happening, no matter how disappointing, we can't rethink our circumstance and then make room for new possibilities. Trying to ignore the pain is natural, even necessary at times, but avoidance can delay our ability to cope and move on.

Moving forward for the sake of the family is the unselfish goal of a mother I deeply admire. When she was six months pregnant, Elizabeth and her husband learned that their baby had a serious heart condition. Three months later the baby died in the womb, a few days before he was due to be born. At his birth, when she could finally see her first child, he was what the hospital termed "fetal wastage."

Although the hospital staff was very supportive, putting me in a separate ward away from all the happy mothers and their new babies, it was difficult to know my child was in the morgue. I jumped at the chance the funeral parlor offered to have Joseph come to our home. I needed that time to know him and to feel like a mother. I needed to sit with him, to hold him, to show him the room we had decorated. I had to look at him and to touch him to be able to come to terms with the fact that he was dead. Then I could accept it. I could dress him in the clothes friends had sent with so much love and say goodbye. Then I could move forward.

There is no right way to grieve. Elizabeth did what she needed to do. And it opened the way for a future with a family

(H/T: Dr. Helen.)

More information about “I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis” (and the book itself) is available from:

• Amazon.com
• Barnes & Noble
• Powell's Books

(St. Martin's Press, May 2008. Hardcover, 211 pages. ISBN: 031236895X; EAN: 9780312368951.)